new poem.
I want a love like
Me thinking of you
Thinking of me thinking of you type love
Or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself
About how I feel about you type love
Or hating how jealous you are
But loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
Or see how your first name just sound so good next to my last name
And shit I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you
And I barely made it out of my garage
See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep
And wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love
Or who loves the other more
Or what she’s doing this exact moment
Or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts
Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good
Could hurt so much when she’s not there
And shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love
And check this, I want to place those little post-it notes
All around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love
And not have enough ink in my pen to write all there is to love about her type love
And hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel
And I want to deal with my friends making fun of me
The way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love
Only difference is, this is one of those real love type loves
And just like in high school
I want to spend hours on the phone not saying shit
And then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me
And smell her all up in my covers type love
I want to try counting the ways I love her
And lose count in the middle just so I have to start all over again
And I want to celebrate one of those one month anniversaries
Even though they ain’t really anniversaries
But doing it just ‘cause it make her happy type love
And, check this, I want to fall in love with the melody the phone plays
When none of us dialed into it type love
And talk to you until I lose my breathe
She leaves me breathless
But with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me
I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan
To something allows me to talk to her longer
‘cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
And I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are
I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time
To love you as long as I’d like to type love
And I want a love that makes me st-st-st-st-stutter
Just thinking about how strong this love is type love
And I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair
Well, maybe not all of the hair
Maybe like I cut the split ends and trim my moustache
But it would still be a symbol of how strong my love for her
And check this, I kind of feel comfortable now
So I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light
Just dying to get hit by a car
Just so I could lose my memory
Get transported to some third world country just to get treated
Then somehow meet up again with you so I can fall in love with you
In a different language and see if it still feels the same type love
I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is
But I’m married, so she’s gonna be the one I share this love with
—————-
honestly, just a guy who would say hey, i adore you. that’s that, plain and simple.
a new poem.
God was letting me ride free and smoothly for quite sometime now and suddenly decided to tell me to wake up and feel LIFE… I am sorry God for taking you forgranted and not thanking you as much as I should be… But please be here by my side and guide me through this rough time… I know that my Brother is strong enough to handle this, and I thankyou for standing by HIS side keeping him strong and fighting when he needs it the most… Please also watch out for my family, and keep them strong as well and help us fight this and everything else that is happening… I know we can but I cannot stress how sorry I am for just realizing how much God should be apparent in my life… I’m sorry it took me all of this to figure that out… But I know you, God, do not abandon your sons and daughters and my faith in you is stronger than ever… Please watch over my brother, bring him back home to everyone who loves and cares for him. Please keep my family strong and tied closely together =)
Also, I needed to get this off my chest…Its ironic how what I have been feeling is so unexplainable…I kept thinking exactly why I was thinking about it in the first place…and then BAM its like an epiphany when I get just a few caring words from someone that I wasn’t expecting. Why would I be thinking about it in the first place? Is it because I am so vulernable and stressed out with what is happening in my life that I need to find some comfort somewhere? I’ve gone for so long now without the slightest bump in the road, and if there was something to pop up out of nowhere I was able to just brush it off and not think about it anymore… I guess it’s about time I feel hurt, confusion, pain, or plainly just feeling lost… It is so weird how I found reassurance in the thought of someone, and I didn’t even know I was capable of finding it there again… I can’t really find a reason, or let alone figure it all out… I just know that somewhere deep down inside I found comfort in thinking of that someone, and it kept me going… Don’t know why, don’t know how, but I did… Let this add on to the laundry list of CRAZY I have been given in the past few weeks… I don’t really want to think about it, but it is very apparent in my thoughts and I figure God is trying to tell me that this someone is my crux of getting through everything… But why? Why now? I’ve done well without depending on anyone, and at a weak point as of now, I feel like my strength could come from that person… But… How do I address it? How do I make sense? How do I explain? I don’t know, my vulnerability? My thoughts going into a whirlwind and somehow, somewhere I am reminded of what it feels like to have someone care unconditionally? I don’t know…
Please God, my prayers are very loud and clear right now… And although I know you are busy with answering everyone’s prayers, I just ask that you just hear mines even for just a second so I know you are listening. Thank you, and I know you will be there for your sons and daughters when they need you the most.
I decided I should get back to my “Goodmorning, today will be….” and my “Goodnight, today was…” I abandoned my journal for the longest time, and I think I should get back to it… Actually, I’ve abandoned writing all together and that isn’t cool at all! Lols. I don’t normally do my excerpts on here, but hey what the hell I’ll do it.
Goodmorning, today will be… a day where I can say I am thankful that babies can be made. LOL. why? Because I get to see my beautiful niece yet again, and she’s coming home on Monday! AND I get to meet Jaden Zachariah for the first time today too. The children are our future =)
Goodnight, today was… (Today hasn’t passed yet, so I’ll just do it for yesterday. I know it’s only 12:48am and yesterday barely has ended but oh well!) A great day in the city! I can only stress this so much, but I love my family to death. I have so much faith in them, no matter what.
Alright, until next time I feel like tumbling across my Tumblr. Lol =) Be easy and God Bless!
I took this quiz, and some points I agree on and some points I don’t agree on. But hey, I guess it’s hard to see yourself the way others do.This quiz had very interesting questions!
Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They’ll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that’s why you’ll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
The right job for you:
You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don’t succeed. Don’t give up when you haven’t yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It’s time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Go Here if you wanna take the quiz: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
Wow, I haven’t been on tumblr for a minute. Usually I’m on here either bloggin or writing poetry. I guess nothing in my life has stressed me so much that I needed to vent. HAHA, that’s a good thing right? I guesso. Hmmm. Well, I thought I should come back here and give a little words of wisdom… Just because I feel like it, and because Miss Colbie Caillat has gotten me in the mood =) OH and because I haven’t said anything here in a minute.
Okay, so when people say… “Patience is a virtue” how long is that wait? I’ve honestly have gotten used to not even waiting, or expecting. I figure that everyone has a path that they’re intended to follow, whether it takes you straight there.. Or obviously makes you take lefts and rights and even stop completely at a dead end. I’ve been told so many times that you got to let things come to you, it’ll come, it’ll come. Yeah, I believe that. Except I’m not waiting for anything to come, just living my life. I’ve been across many potholes and I’ve been across continuous road signs that I’ve seen before, but I haven’t found a road that I am willing to drive down for hour on end. Haha, I just realized I’m being hella cryptic. But I figure you’re smart and you’ll figure it out haha. Anyway, when people question my decisions or question why I do the things I do, well basically my answer is that it doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t fit right. I’m not guarded, I’m not chained up within myself, I’m just not willing to put myself through something I know that won’t even take me anywhere. I think everyone would be very appreciative if you just let them live their life the way they want to. I trust that God will point me in the direction I am intended to go towards whether it’s for a little while, or long while. Whether it’s a good thing, or a bad thing. I just know that when I’m supposed to, it’ll all just feel right regardless the emotions attached to it. Feel? It’s one thing when someone throws thoughts in your head and tries to plan out what they think will happen, what should happen. And another when your actually the person living it. I haven’t lost faith, I haven’t given up, farrrr from that. I’m just doing me, and eventually I’ll come to the points in my life where I’m happy and content. I’m still young, and I’m still trying to figure things out, trying to figure ME out. I’m still trying to figure out what I am deserving of, and what I’m supposed to have in my life.. And all that while, I’m appreciating what I DO have and I’m not holding any angst to things that I DON’T have. You see, alot of people go through so much hurt and pain because they allow themselves to accept the pain that is geared towards them and they don’t try to conquer it. I’m a very positive person and I try to steer away from the bad things in my life and if I ever come across something painful or hurtful, I handle it in a way where it doesn’t eat me up inside. So please, tell me, is it so wrong to not want to get into something that I know is bad for me? Isn’t it a better and lighter decision to just not involve myself in it at all? I know people say you learn from your mistakes, but you can most definitely learn from what you TEACH yourself. You don’t need to make a mistake to understand, you can already understand by seeing and avoiding what you know is bad for you. I know I’ll have my good and bad times, I know I’ll fail and I’ll succeed, that’s life. But there’s choices in life you can make that will keep your thoughts healthy, that’s all I’m saying. I know you learn more when you experience things hands on, but you also learn things by just observing and understanding and using what you already know and apply it to whatever the situation calls for. Yeahhhhhh. I think I’m starting to not make sense? I’m sorry if you lost me. LOL. BASICALLY what I’m saying is, yes, patience is a virtue. And while that time passes, you can be good with just doing you. And yes, it could be good to test the waters with different situations but you don’t have to if you know you shouldn’t because it isn’t good for you. Opportunity of every sort will come knocking at your door, sooner or later, and there’s no point in waiting and expecting. The only thing that matters, is that you’re living to your utmost ability. All of that goodness and positive energy that you are creating for yoruself will eventually shine on others which will allow an invitation for them to come and share it if they are most definitely deserving =)
Babble babble, blah blah. I don’t know what I was trying to say up there but um sure okay! Hahaha. I’ll come back again when I remember or when I really need to get something off my chest… I guess? Hahha. Until then, peace and love =)
Mia from Taking the Stage is ta-len-ted! she’s dopeage, and i hella dig this song of hers (=
